I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I need a beard to bite.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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