therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Randomize
