Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize