I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
