Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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