I love black thongs
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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