Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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