She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
