hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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