i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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