i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants