Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
