When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Naked Twister starts at high noon
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked