I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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