Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?