Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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