Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
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