I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
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