in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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