if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
