Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
