There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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