Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
So many bounce houses so little time
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
