My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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