Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
