I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize
