Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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