if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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