i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
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You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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