people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
