theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Drunk is not a location!
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Randomize