Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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