im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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