In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
