i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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