i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
