when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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