so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
4 words: hood of his car
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
