called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
