Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
