This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
