Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
