I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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