I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
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