arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
