when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
