watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
