The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
