bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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