i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize