I heard we made out
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize