Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
