she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
