we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
This girl is more easily done than said...
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
