the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
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