A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
