physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
