So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
