I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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