you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
And then my night got REAL pukey
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
