He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
